Here I sit looking at my blank screen. And I think about the person I am today. I dont feel the serenity that I once did, or the love or the peace. I once again dont feel like I know myself as well as I did. But in saying all this I cant tell you why. I dont know why. Is is really something to do with being away from the Outback? Or is it because I dont spend so much time with myself? I can see my face is harder or maybe more stressed now. Im not so sure why. I mean I dont live a particularly hard life back here. I dont even drink as much as I used to. Maybe its just the freedom and spirit that I am lacking.
But I do miss that place. It now feels so distant from me that I cant believe that it ever happened. I am so proud that it did and so thankful for the opportunities that I was given.
I think it would be a great experience for anyone. The things I learnt are things that cant be taught. Its just a way of life. I do think because of it I have a different perspective on life and the (sur)real world now. And I miss the things that I never thought I would.
I just hope that one day I get to share it with someone special.
Wednesday, 22 February 2012
Thursday, 26 January 2012
MainStream
Ok. So this is my first post since Ive come back to the real world. I appologise for the delay. I have written so many trials in my head and on document but Ive never had the balls to publish them. The first thing I will say is that the real world is HARD. Ive never really noticed but since ive come back it has been more relevant to me. The people here dont care about the things i have been taught to. And I know I have only been there approx 4 months. But it was a real 4 months. It feels like everything else is a crime against it. Which sounds weird I know.
Today is Australia Day. I do not value any day in the year as much as this. This is my life blood. I love this country. But it is the worst Australia Day i have ever had. And I'm not meaning to sound like a drunken cunt - obviously i do though. Today I have faught with my boyfriend and my friends - the people that I came back here for. It makes me not think that all this unhapiness is worth it. I do know for sure that I was much happier up there. I do admit I missed him with all of my conscienous. But in looking back he still never put him self on the line for me. What if I didnt come back? Would he have just accepted that?
Aside from all this real world bullshit, I feel like I could be doing something better with my time. I found out tonight that all the girls I worked with have quit since I have left. What are they doing with themselves? And their families? Is this my fault? Have I let them down? I do feel if I had stayed that they would still be making money. I feel guilt. And I dont like it. The pull this place has over me is way too much.
But most definatley I will wait til the sober morning and make my decision from there.
Today is Australia Day. I do not value any day in the year as much as this. This is my life blood. I love this country. But it is the worst Australia Day i have ever had. And I'm not meaning to sound like a drunken cunt - obviously i do though. Today I have faught with my boyfriend and my friends - the people that I came back here for. It makes me not think that all this unhapiness is worth it. I do know for sure that I was much happier up there. I do admit I missed him with all of my conscienous. But in looking back he still never put him self on the line for me. What if I didnt come back? Would he have just accepted that?
Aside from all this real world bullshit, I feel like I could be doing something better with my time. I found out tonight that all the girls I worked with have quit since I have left. What are they doing with themselves? And their families? Is this my fault? Have I let them down? I do feel if I had stayed that they would still be making money. I feel guilt. And I dont like it. The pull this place has over me is way too much.
But most definatley I will wait til the sober morning and make my decision from there.
Friday, 25 November 2011
The last time.
I sit here. Its 1:30am. I am in the middle of the Outback. In the Northern Territory. Not many people get to see what it is like here. I am lucky. And grateful for this experience.
Earlier today I made the decision to go home a week early. Reason being for a job interview. Sounds all good, pure and lucky. But it is scaring me out of my brain.
I leave in 6 days.
I leave this world behind, possibly to never see it again. The people I have met will soon be a distant memory and no longer the people I talk to everyday. Everything I have here will be gone. In saying that I am very happy to go home. But nervous.
When I arrive home, the first thing I have to do when I get off the plane is go to my interview. Picture this. I havent worn enclosed shoes for the last 4 months, havent brushed my hair - I have a dreadlock in the middle of it, and I dont even have any business looking clothes here. So god knows what I am going to do. And on top of that I'm worried how my personal things are going to go. What if I just want to be a vagabond and just travel around for ever because this is what the lifestyle up here has instilled in me. What if I cant handle the real world anymore??
It is haunting me.
Adding to the speak of haunting, I was drinking with a friend of mine tonight, and we got into the discussion of the Underbelly of this community. The stories she told me will haunt me for many years to come.
I warn you this next part will be explicit, but I do however feel that I need to mention it so that I can give an accurate description of the horror I have encountered tonight, and the the picture it paints for the rest of the community.
My friend informs me that certain children in their classes are classed as "high risk" meaning they are basically in danger of sexual interference in their living situation, or suicide. She continues to inform me that she had been having problems with a boy, acting out against other class mates and basically causing a stir for a while, she reports it to the school counsellor. Who decides not to present any information, the teacher continues battling with this child, basically fighting against him to teach him. It turns out now, over a year later, that this child - 6 years old, had been raped for 3 days by a group of 6 boys who had held him hostage within a house in this community. The parents never looked for this child. They never cared that he wasnt there. It took for a teacher to cause a stir that the boy was missing.
The thing that upsets me the most, is that he may have been able to have an enjoyable experience at school if the teacher had known what was going on/had gone on. He has suffered being bullied as a "poofter" by the other students. There are no psychologist here. No one to help with the mental issues this child might be suffering. If there was, maybe one more suicide could be prevented, maybe by that information passed along, another one could be too.
There were many other stories I heard tonight. All of them a firm picture stuck in my head. Whenever I think of this place I will always remember these things. Sad, horrible and cruel things. Things that people and the rest of the world turn a blind eye too. Things that the government here should be trying to fix. I could go on about this for hours, maybe another time when I am in a more stable frame of mind, and not to prejudice. But seeing things like this in the real world would be a true horror. Here. You kind of learn to deal with it. Its not good enough.
So I am still worried about returning to the real world. People care about such petty things back there. And are ruled by schedules and boundaries, something that we dont really have here.
Next week should be a very interesting and emotional one.
Will keep you posted.
Earlier today I made the decision to go home a week early. Reason being for a job interview. Sounds all good, pure and lucky. But it is scaring me out of my brain.
I leave in 6 days.
I leave this world behind, possibly to never see it again. The people I have met will soon be a distant memory and no longer the people I talk to everyday. Everything I have here will be gone. In saying that I am very happy to go home. But nervous.
When I arrive home, the first thing I have to do when I get off the plane is go to my interview. Picture this. I havent worn enclosed shoes for the last 4 months, havent brushed my hair - I have a dreadlock in the middle of it, and I dont even have any business looking clothes here. So god knows what I am going to do. And on top of that I'm worried how my personal things are going to go. What if I just want to be a vagabond and just travel around for ever because this is what the lifestyle up here has instilled in me. What if I cant handle the real world anymore??
It is haunting me.
Adding to the speak of haunting, I was drinking with a friend of mine tonight, and we got into the discussion of the Underbelly of this community. The stories she told me will haunt me for many years to come.
I warn you this next part will be explicit, but I do however feel that I need to mention it so that I can give an accurate description of the horror I have encountered tonight, and the the picture it paints for the rest of the community.
My friend informs me that certain children in their classes are classed as "high risk" meaning they are basically in danger of sexual interference in their living situation, or suicide. She continues to inform me that she had been having problems with a boy, acting out against other class mates and basically causing a stir for a while, she reports it to the school counsellor. Who decides not to present any information, the teacher continues battling with this child, basically fighting against him to teach him. It turns out now, over a year later, that this child - 6 years old, had been raped for 3 days by a group of 6 boys who had held him hostage within a house in this community. The parents never looked for this child. They never cared that he wasnt there. It took for a teacher to cause a stir that the boy was missing.
The thing that upsets me the most, is that he may have been able to have an enjoyable experience at school if the teacher had known what was going on/had gone on. He has suffered being bullied as a "poofter" by the other students. There are no psychologist here. No one to help with the mental issues this child might be suffering. If there was, maybe one more suicide could be prevented, maybe by that information passed along, another one could be too.
There were many other stories I heard tonight. All of them a firm picture stuck in my head. Whenever I think of this place I will always remember these things. Sad, horrible and cruel things. Things that people and the rest of the world turn a blind eye too. Things that the government here should be trying to fix. I could go on about this for hours, maybe another time when I am in a more stable frame of mind, and not to prejudice. But seeing things like this in the real world would be a true horror. Here. You kind of learn to deal with it. Its not good enough.
So I am still worried about returning to the real world. People care about such petty things back there. And are ruled by schedules and boundaries, something that we dont really have here.
Next week should be a very interesting and emotional one.
Will keep you posted.
Monday, 21 November 2011
The Wet.
It has finally broken. I hope.
It seems the wet has begun. I sit outside. I hear thunder rumbling in the distance and a complete stillness all around. The sky is grey. And everything is quiet. The rain came, although it didnt last too long. And the place seems so clean after the rain. Everything fresh and green.
I have heard stories that so epic thunderstorms happen here. Wicked bolts of lightening and never heard before cracks of thunder. The rain can get that hard, that you cant see your neighbours house. I havent seen this yet. All of the storms have passed us by. And the rain has been minimal.
I hope this picks up before I leave. It has 19 days to fully begin. I want to see it.
Seeing the dark clouds in the sky and feeling the stillness all around gives such a feeling of anticipation. Waiting for something big to happen.
And waiting.
It seems the wet has begun. I sit outside. I hear thunder rumbling in the distance and a complete stillness all around. The sky is grey. And everything is quiet. The rain came, although it didnt last too long. And the place seems so clean after the rain. Everything fresh and green.
I have heard stories that so epic thunderstorms happen here. Wicked bolts of lightening and never heard before cracks of thunder. The rain can get that hard, that you cant see your neighbours house. I havent seen this yet. All of the storms have passed us by. And the rain has been minimal.
I hope this picks up before I leave. It has 19 days to fully begin. I want to see it.
Seeing the dark clouds in the sky and feeling the stillness all around gives such a feeling of anticipation. Waiting for something big to happen.
And waiting.
Friday, 18 November 2011
Blank
Things seem to have come to a halt. I have totally no inspiration for this place anymore. My mood is constantly flat. My face sunken and sad. I dont want to be around anyone. The only reason I want to go to work is because the sooner I get there the sooner it is all over.
I do not feel like myself anymore. I dont listen to music, I dont make conversation, I dont try to build friendships. I have never felt further from being my real self.
Thinking of home is consuming every second of my days. I feel as soon as I get there I feel I will just come rushing back into myself. At least I hope so. What worries me is that I will never be the same again. That my personality has disappeared, lost in the nothingness of the outback.
Usually the Indigenous pick my spirits up. But lately they are just driving me mental. Their complete lack of culture is starting to do my head in. They are just so lazy. You can see their culture fading away right before your eyes. Its quite sad. This is meant to be the oldest living culture on the planet. And yet they have become so useless that they cant even pass their culture onto their children. So dependant on what the white man says. Yet so defiant to not credit the white man for anything. And too damn lazy to help themselves. This culture can still be saved. But it wont be. I will come back here in 50 years and the place will still be the same. Completely stuck in a time warp of their own stupidity.
I am not sure if it is the weather but people seem to be becoming ruder. A number of times this week, member of my staff were accused of racism. To me it seems like the typical accusation. Because no one will step up and fight it. As soon as the "R" word is mentioned, everyone steps down. And they know it.
I hate the fact this place has made me so sour. So cranky and depressed. It is obviously time for me to leave. The fact that its made me feel this way makes me hate it even more. Turning out to be a very vicious circle.
I became aware of the dark underbelly of this place today. Everyone knows what goes on here, but not everyone gets to see it. Things I was told, in regards to abuse - sexual, verbal, physical and mental have haunted me for the rest of my day. Things I have heard are things that people would be jailed for in the real world. And yet as per usual people here get away with it. People turn a blind eye. I do it too. What is anyone going to do? I saw a dog the other day dragging both of its back legs behind it because they were crushed. And what did I do? Nothing. Because what can you do? Nothing will be done. Some one got attacked by a dog the other day. What got done? Nothing. A girl is pregnant at 11. Who says anything? No one. Because no one will do anything. The stuff these children are brought up seeing is nothing that you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine. Things you never thought people would do to each other. And we all know it goes on. But you just put your head down and get on with your business. It can be quite a moral battle here.
If you saw a goose tied up to a tree, by a piece of rope around its neck, what would you do? Generally either call the RSPCA or go cut it free. Well here there is no RSPCA. And if you cut it free you would most likely be speared and ran out of town. Because that shit is their dinner and its going to die anyway.
I suppose in my moment of utter depression I have been able to depict an accurate picture of this place. Even though it is just a glimpse. I find it hard to try and describe what it is like here. Because its hard to paint a picture using words. Maybe seeing this will have hardened me for life, mad me stronger. Who knows. But I can see why people dont last long here, considering it is basically against any white person's mainstream morals.
However that is how it goes. Round and Round the vicious circle. And what am I going to do about it? Nothing.
I do not feel like myself anymore. I dont listen to music, I dont make conversation, I dont try to build friendships. I have never felt further from being my real self.
Thinking of home is consuming every second of my days. I feel as soon as I get there I feel I will just come rushing back into myself. At least I hope so. What worries me is that I will never be the same again. That my personality has disappeared, lost in the nothingness of the outback.
Usually the Indigenous pick my spirits up. But lately they are just driving me mental. Their complete lack of culture is starting to do my head in. They are just so lazy. You can see their culture fading away right before your eyes. Its quite sad. This is meant to be the oldest living culture on the planet. And yet they have become so useless that they cant even pass their culture onto their children. So dependant on what the white man says. Yet so defiant to not credit the white man for anything. And too damn lazy to help themselves. This culture can still be saved. But it wont be. I will come back here in 50 years and the place will still be the same. Completely stuck in a time warp of their own stupidity.
I am not sure if it is the weather but people seem to be becoming ruder. A number of times this week, member of my staff were accused of racism. To me it seems like the typical accusation. Because no one will step up and fight it. As soon as the "R" word is mentioned, everyone steps down. And they know it.
I hate the fact this place has made me so sour. So cranky and depressed. It is obviously time for me to leave. The fact that its made me feel this way makes me hate it even more. Turning out to be a very vicious circle.
I became aware of the dark underbelly of this place today. Everyone knows what goes on here, but not everyone gets to see it. Things I was told, in regards to abuse - sexual, verbal, physical and mental have haunted me for the rest of my day. Things I have heard are things that people would be jailed for in the real world. And yet as per usual people here get away with it. People turn a blind eye. I do it too. What is anyone going to do? I saw a dog the other day dragging both of its back legs behind it because they were crushed. And what did I do? Nothing. Because what can you do? Nothing will be done. Some one got attacked by a dog the other day. What got done? Nothing. A girl is pregnant at 11. Who says anything? No one. Because no one will do anything. The stuff these children are brought up seeing is nothing that you could ever in your wildest dreams imagine. Things you never thought people would do to each other. And we all know it goes on. But you just put your head down and get on with your business. It can be quite a moral battle here.
If you saw a goose tied up to a tree, by a piece of rope around its neck, what would you do? Generally either call the RSPCA or go cut it free. Well here there is no RSPCA. And if you cut it free you would most likely be speared and ran out of town. Because that shit is their dinner and its going to die anyway.
I suppose in my moment of utter depression I have been able to depict an accurate picture of this place. Even though it is just a glimpse. I find it hard to try and describe what it is like here. Because its hard to paint a picture using words. Maybe seeing this will have hardened me for life, mad me stronger. Who knows. But I can see why people dont last long here, considering it is basically against any white person's mainstream morals.
However that is how it goes. Round and Round the vicious circle. And what am I going to do about it? Nothing.
My Letter
Dear Future Danielle.
I am writing this so in future you can read this and remember all the things you learnt in this period of your life.
I want you to remember to make the most of everyday. Do not make excuses. Do whatever you can to make you feel like you really enjoyed your day.
Do not let people get inside your head. Your instict is always right, and you always regret not following it - so get your shit together.
People who say evil things or do things to make others happy, are actually unhappy with themselves. Try not to hate them (that just gives you wrinkles) just feel sorry for them. Thats their problem not yours.
Remember to always love. Take the opportunity. Even if its just a fling, or a whim. Enjoy things and fall in love. You could be dead tomorrow after all.
As much as it goes against every moral of yours, try not to stick up for people so much; especially the ones you barely know. This just gets you into trouble. Try and think a bit more of yourself and your own happiness, other people's happiness is their own decission. There are people out there who have absolutely nothing, and are some of the joyous people in the world.
It cant never be as bad as it seems. There is always a time when you will be past this. When this exact moment will seem so far in the past that you will wonder why you were so worried about it all in the first place.
You will always know who your friends are, and the people that love you will always be there for you. Just remember to be there for them too.
But most of all, be yourself, no matter what anyone else says. Even if it is your loved one (unless you are doing something completely stupid and drastically wrong). But doing what you do, makes you who you are. Dont change for anybody. Think back to this moment and remember how peaceful you felt. And the things that this place made you feel.
Hoping this helps you find the inspiration that you need.
Love, Past Danielle - currently moving on from things.
I am writing this so in future you can read this and remember all the things you learnt in this period of your life.
I want you to remember to make the most of everyday. Do not make excuses. Do whatever you can to make you feel like you really enjoyed your day.
Do not let people get inside your head. Your instict is always right, and you always regret not following it - so get your shit together.
People who say evil things or do things to make others happy, are actually unhappy with themselves. Try not to hate them (that just gives you wrinkles) just feel sorry for them. Thats their problem not yours.
Remember to always love. Take the opportunity. Even if its just a fling, or a whim. Enjoy things and fall in love. You could be dead tomorrow after all.
As much as it goes against every moral of yours, try not to stick up for people so much; especially the ones you barely know. This just gets you into trouble. Try and think a bit more of yourself and your own happiness, other people's happiness is their own decission. There are people out there who have absolutely nothing, and are some of the joyous people in the world.
It cant never be as bad as it seems. There is always a time when you will be past this. When this exact moment will seem so far in the past that you will wonder why you were so worried about it all in the first place.
You will always know who your friends are, and the people that love you will always be there for you. Just remember to be there for them too.
But most of all, be yourself, no matter what anyone else says. Even if it is your loved one (unless you are doing something completely stupid and drastically wrong). But doing what you do, makes you who you are. Dont change for anybody. Think back to this moment and remember how peaceful you felt. And the things that this place made you feel.
Hoping this helps you find the inspiration that you need.
Love, Past Danielle - currently moving on from things.
Saturday, 12 November 2011
Week 13
It has been quite an interesting week this one. My manager has taken to teaching me her job. I cant help but get the feel that it is a ploy to try and make me stay. I have told her that I am most likely not returning after Christmas, but she has still insisted. So it has been good actually challenging my brain for a bit.
I have lost another friend this week. Im not sure if this place just turns people against each other or what, but I am over the pettiness.
I am feeling quite good again. My fears of returning home have been subdued and Im back to being totally excited. My hair was to be dreaded today but I decided to nap instead. Maybe tomorrow.
I, for some unknown reason, passed up the chance to hunt tonight. Im kicking myself now though. But ah well it obvioulsy wasnt meant to happen.
I have nearly been attacked by dogs twice in the last three days. I cant understand it considering I have walked past these dogs at least four times a day for the last 3 months, and now they decide to go at me! I actually got saved by a local fellow the other night. He came back and scared the dog away from me. It was a suprise, because they arent the most giving of people, especially to white folk. All I remember is saying thankyou and running off down the road without a look back.
There has been a little bit of commotion in the community this week. I will not be suprised if it all comes to a head soon and theres a big fight. Firstly my store is closed on Monday (for an uncertain amount of time) due to a community meeting - for locals only.
The reason being that two of the family members of the land owner have been at war basically for the last 2 months. So they are hoping to sort it out. I think it will be quite interesting how this ends.
Secondly a friend of mine was in the store the other day (a local lady) and I wa chatting with her mother, who was ill and jokingly saying that she was dying. I decided to joke with her saying she was too young to die etc; it was laughs all around, they left my store with a smile on their face. Her brother died that night. I could not believe it. I felt like a total bitch. But this also means a big funeral for the community - which hopefully means a smoking of our store (hopefully I will finally get to see one!!).
Then also, our wet is trying to start. We had rain 2 nights last week, but its just not getting the ball rolling. And I think this is puting everyone a little bit one edge. Its like everyone is all on edge, we all know its coming, we just dont know when. But I hope it hurries up. I think it will relieve a bit of community tension.
It is a grog handout night tonight. I have opted to stay home and watch movies alone. Im a bit over wasting my only day off with an extreme hangover - I drank last night ha ha. Plus I also want to go fishing tomorrow and work on my tan a little bit before I get back home.
I am in quite a weird place right now. I am super excited to go back to the real world, but I just cant see me being happy working back there. I have actually searched for jobs in communities in Queensland. It hasnt proven very successful so far. Communities are hard to get into unless you either know someone there or just show up and hope to find work. There is usually work, but it just isnt advertised in any way. I have applied for a job on Badu Island which is an Island right at the very top of Queensland in the Torres Straight. It looks amazing. A tropical island, but with the same facilities as here. It also looks quite the same size. So I would love to check it out. And I totally dont have any problem going alone. Now that I have checked it out, out here I know what to expect of community life now. So we will see how that goes. I most definately think that there is no way I am going to be able to stay put in the real world. I will not like the restrictions that is has.
I read a facebook status of a friend today, about him wearing no shoes into McDonalds and how he felt like a bum. I just chuckled to myself self and thought, geez its lucky if I wear shoes to work. Let alone McDonalds.
I have also learnt this week that the soil here carries a disease called "Melioidosis". Apparently its an epidemic in this part of the country. But basically when the wet comes because the downfalls are so intense, the disease is stirred up and can be caught from mud, dirt and water. Similar symptoms to tuberculosis and apparently it can make your limbs fall off. I have been here nearly 3 months and this is the first I have heard of this. I really feel that it would be imperitive for a handbook to be written and given to anyone who flies into the community. People who get jobs here and get flown in have no idea what they are coming into. They dont know about the dogs, the sacred sights, the requirements on clothing etc. Im just lucky that I had my mum here who knew alot before I came. Its very interesting, and probably not suprising that most people dont stay long here - some people came in 2 weeks ago to run the fast food shop and lasted 4 days and then left. So maybe if people had more awareness of the place, they either wouldnt come, or would be more sure of what they are getting themselves into before they got here. But it will take a long time before anything will even make a slight change around here. I see so much around me that is just corrupt, or wrong, and you can see how to make it better, but its just now possible, either because people wont aid and support the change, or the ones that are already ruining the system cant be removed. It makes me mad. I definatly know that there are no quick fixes. But there are for sure a few things here that could be made a whole lot better straight away.
But like everything else, this place will progress. It may just take a bit longer than the rest of the world.
I have lost another friend this week. Im not sure if this place just turns people against each other or what, but I am over the pettiness.
I am feeling quite good again. My fears of returning home have been subdued and Im back to being totally excited. My hair was to be dreaded today but I decided to nap instead. Maybe tomorrow.
I, for some unknown reason, passed up the chance to hunt tonight. Im kicking myself now though. But ah well it obvioulsy wasnt meant to happen.
I have nearly been attacked by dogs twice in the last three days. I cant understand it considering I have walked past these dogs at least four times a day for the last 3 months, and now they decide to go at me! I actually got saved by a local fellow the other night. He came back and scared the dog away from me. It was a suprise, because they arent the most giving of people, especially to white folk. All I remember is saying thankyou and running off down the road without a look back.
There has been a little bit of commotion in the community this week. I will not be suprised if it all comes to a head soon and theres a big fight. Firstly my store is closed on Monday (for an uncertain amount of time) due to a community meeting - for locals only.
The reason being that two of the family members of the land owner have been at war basically for the last 2 months. So they are hoping to sort it out. I think it will be quite interesting how this ends.
Secondly a friend of mine was in the store the other day (a local lady) and I wa chatting with her mother, who was ill and jokingly saying that she was dying. I decided to joke with her saying she was too young to die etc; it was laughs all around, they left my store with a smile on their face. Her brother died that night. I could not believe it. I felt like a total bitch. But this also means a big funeral for the community - which hopefully means a smoking of our store (hopefully I will finally get to see one!!).
Then also, our wet is trying to start. We had rain 2 nights last week, but its just not getting the ball rolling. And I think this is puting everyone a little bit one edge. Its like everyone is all on edge, we all know its coming, we just dont know when. But I hope it hurries up. I think it will relieve a bit of community tension.
It is a grog handout night tonight. I have opted to stay home and watch movies alone. Im a bit over wasting my only day off with an extreme hangover - I drank last night ha ha. Plus I also want to go fishing tomorrow and work on my tan a little bit before I get back home.
I am in quite a weird place right now. I am super excited to go back to the real world, but I just cant see me being happy working back there. I have actually searched for jobs in communities in Queensland. It hasnt proven very successful so far. Communities are hard to get into unless you either know someone there or just show up and hope to find work. There is usually work, but it just isnt advertised in any way. I have applied for a job on Badu Island which is an Island right at the very top of Queensland in the Torres Straight. It looks amazing. A tropical island, but with the same facilities as here. It also looks quite the same size. So I would love to check it out. And I totally dont have any problem going alone. Now that I have checked it out, out here I know what to expect of community life now. So we will see how that goes. I most definately think that there is no way I am going to be able to stay put in the real world. I will not like the restrictions that is has.
I read a facebook status of a friend today, about him wearing no shoes into McDonalds and how he felt like a bum. I just chuckled to myself self and thought, geez its lucky if I wear shoes to work. Let alone McDonalds.
I have also learnt this week that the soil here carries a disease called "Melioidosis". Apparently its an epidemic in this part of the country. But basically when the wet comes because the downfalls are so intense, the disease is stirred up and can be caught from mud, dirt and water. Similar symptoms to tuberculosis and apparently it can make your limbs fall off. I have been here nearly 3 months and this is the first I have heard of this. I really feel that it would be imperitive for a handbook to be written and given to anyone who flies into the community. People who get jobs here and get flown in have no idea what they are coming into. They dont know about the dogs, the sacred sights, the requirements on clothing etc. Im just lucky that I had my mum here who knew alot before I came. Its very interesting, and probably not suprising that most people dont stay long here - some people came in 2 weeks ago to run the fast food shop and lasted 4 days and then left. So maybe if people had more awareness of the place, they either wouldnt come, or would be more sure of what they are getting themselves into before they got here. But it will take a long time before anything will even make a slight change around here. I see so much around me that is just corrupt, or wrong, and you can see how to make it better, but its just now possible, either because people wont aid and support the change, or the ones that are already ruining the system cant be removed. It makes me mad. I definatly know that there are no quick fixes. But there are for sure a few things here that could be made a whole lot better straight away.
But like everything else, this place will progress. It may just take a bit longer than the rest of the world.
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