Since my last post, I have booked my flights home for Christmas. I thought this would be a good thing, however it is much the opposite. There is nothing more that I want than to be home. I just cant let go of it. Its as if I am imprisoned here, serving a sentance. The thing I am trying for most is not to hold onto a dream. It is something that I want so much in the world but I am worried that if I put too much energy into it, it will not turn out how I want it to.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. But I am worried that maybe it just grows fonder because there isnt much else going on or that it is all an illusion. I dont know how or what to say. I dont know if I should say how I feel. I dont want to ruin things. But it is so dearly where I want to be. I dont know why and I thought I'd be ok up here. But I'm not. I didnt think home would have meant so much to me and that I would have wanted it back so badly.
I'm hoping seeing you will make it all better. And I hope you know that its the thing that I want most.
Friday 30 September 2011
Maybe this is just a Bump in the Road.
Everything has gotten monotonous. I dont have a problem specifically. Nothing to really complain about. But I am not happy. I'm sad generally. Its not random bouts of home sickness. Its general home sickness. And its fucking my shit up. I dont like to be so down. And I dont know how to fix it.
I think it has something to do with my lack of friends. Mainly because they are all shipping out. Peole are leaving but not necessarily arriving. So thats that. I have booked my flights home and thought it would make me excited/have something to aim for, but instead its just made me feel more down because its so far away.
On another note, I witnessed my first fight up here on Monday. The day began differently for starters - we were closed for smoking. A dead body was coming back into the community and our store had to be smoked so their spirit leaves this world. The thing with this is, that we can be closed for hours just waiting around for them to show up. So it began with us being closed. I was minding my business, stacking the shelves, when all of the Indigenous people that I work with all started heading for the door. I heard something about a fight. I went out to check it out and everyone had gathered on the school oval to watch the fight. One of the ladies I work with walked up there because it was a family member of hers in the fight.
It got a bit rowdy and started to move towards the shop so I decided that I was too white to stay outstide. I went back to stacking my shelves. My boss came in and said the fight had moved to the ceremony ground just behind work. I decided there was no way I could miss this. I went out and there was literally about 300 people all gathered around, yelling an screaming. Not all just young people either. The elders get amongst it too. The funniest part was the Ambulance was already parked up on the sideline waiting for the resulting injuries. People were even there with their babies in prams. Crazy.
So basically it was just a bunch of yelling and screaming for ages until the copper decided that he would pepper spray someone to try and break up the crowd. This one act is probably the stupidest thing I have witnessed while being up here. It is the one thing that actually started the fight rolling. It was intense. People were screaming, dogs and prams flying everywhere. I couldnt believe it. I was maybe 50m away and there was a point when I actually didnt feel safe. It also happened to be the point when the whole mob was coming towards me. However, after about 20minutes the mob broke up and it was over.
I spoke to a friend of mine later in the day who works for a company who are strictly Fly in - Fly out. So they dont get to mix with the community much, and he was saying that they werent allowed to leave their camp because of the fighting. It was interesting how they saw it. And how serious they thought it was, meanwhile I walked home for lunch and didnt have a second thought about it. As I have said previoulsy, they live entirely for the moment here. Once it is over with it is over with. They just move on.
Since the fight, seeing as it has taken me 6 days to finish this blog (it is now saturday) there has still been quite a bit of violence within the community. I would not be supprised if something big happens within the next week, also considering that it is grog handout day, so those who have alcohol will probably consumed theirs by now. But who knows what tomorrow will bring!
I think it has something to do with my lack of friends. Mainly because they are all shipping out. Peole are leaving but not necessarily arriving. So thats that. I have booked my flights home and thought it would make me excited/have something to aim for, but instead its just made me feel more down because its so far away.
On another note, I witnessed my first fight up here on Monday. The day began differently for starters - we were closed for smoking. A dead body was coming back into the community and our store had to be smoked so their spirit leaves this world. The thing with this is, that we can be closed for hours just waiting around for them to show up. So it began with us being closed. I was minding my business, stacking the shelves, when all of the Indigenous people that I work with all started heading for the door. I heard something about a fight. I went out to check it out and everyone had gathered on the school oval to watch the fight. One of the ladies I work with walked up there because it was a family member of hers in the fight.
It got a bit rowdy and started to move towards the shop so I decided that I was too white to stay outstide. I went back to stacking my shelves. My boss came in and said the fight had moved to the ceremony ground just behind work. I decided there was no way I could miss this. I went out and there was literally about 300 people all gathered around, yelling an screaming. Not all just young people either. The elders get amongst it too. The funniest part was the Ambulance was already parked up on the sideline waiting for the resulting injuries. People were even there with their babies in prams. Crazy.
So basically it was just a bunch of yelling and screaming for ages until the copper decided that he would pepper spray someone to try and break up the crowd. This one act is probably the stupidest thing I have witnessed while being up here. It is the one thing that actually started the fight rolling. It was intense. People were screaming, dogs and prams flying everywhere. I couldnt believe it. I was maybe 50m away and there was a point when I actually didnt feel safe. It also happened to be the point when the whole mob was coming towards me. However, after about 20minutes the mob broke up and it was over.
I spoke to a friend of mine later in the day who works for a company who are strictly Fly in - Fly out. So they dont get to mix with the community much, and he was saying that they werent allowed to leave their camp because of the fighting. It was interesting how they saw it. And how serious they thought it was, meanwhile I walked home for lunch and didnt have a second thought about it. As I have said previoulsy, they live entirely for the moment here. Once it is over with it is over with. They just move on.
Since the fight, seeing as it has taken me 6 days to finish this blog (it is now saturday) there has still been quite a bit of violence within the community. I would not be supprised if something big happens within the next week, also considering that it is grog handout day, so those who have alcohol will probably consumed theirs by now. But who knows what tomorrow will bring!
Sunday 25 September 2011
Trying to Find a Groove.
So as the days go by I begin to settle a little bit more here. The more I grow to know the place and start to know the people, the more I find that its a hard place to be. Each day it seems like another close friend has left leaving another void to fill. I am glad today one of my friends actually returned, which hopefully is a good thing. I am learning that you never have faith in what someone says they are going to do. And I can understand why people here are so predictable. They struggle to like it and to live and save money happily, but then that day comes when you are faced with the oppurtunity of an out, and you just take it. I can why. I get it. I'm just not used to living with people who are so flighty.
However I do think that maybe this could be a good thing for me. Maybe I will learn to not trust people so instantly. Maybe I will learn the self control to sit back and take the opportunity to see what is going on around me.
But in saying this, as I have said previously, it is a lonely place to be. With people coming and going all the time it is hard to have a solid group of mates. It is a hard choice between keeping your head down and just making your money and going home, or having the friends and the social life, maybe stay a bit longer but have a good time. At this point I'm at the stage of keeping my head down. I thought my home sickness would have curbed by now but it hasnt. I have had even less contact with home over the last week and its making me want it more. I just want the normal back in my life. I want the freedom to be able to do the things I like to do.
I am learning that you should never move back into home. No matter how much you think you miss it, or how good it will be, IT IS NOT. I am suffocating under the pressure of lifestyle. My only alone time is in the shower. In all honesty, I hate to be alone, but I am definatly not used to being nagged at this much. I am on edge, getting feisty and I cant stop myself from snapping at my family. I will not take full responsibility for this, however I do feel like shit because of it. It is just hard working around people all day and coming home and being around people all night and being nagged constantly. I am suffering by not having my own bedroom. Or a proper bed. I am over having to go into my brother's room to get my clothes before he goes to sleep and I'm sick of not being able to come home whenever I want.
But as long as I am here there is nothing I can do about this. I just need to find a way to deal with it. And god I hope I find it very soon.
However I do think that maybe this could be a good thing for me. Maybe I will learn to not trust people so instantly. Maybe I will learn the self control to sit back and take the opportunity to see what is going on around me.
But in saying this, as I have said previously, it is a lonely place to be. With people coming and going all the time it is hard to have a solid group of mates. It is a hard choice between keeping your head down and just making your money and going home, or having the friends and the social life, maybe stay a bit longer but have a good time. At this point I'm at the stage of keeping my head down. I thought my home sickness would have curbed by now but it hasnt. I have had even less contact with home over the last week and its making me want it more. I just want the normal back in my life. I want the freedom to be able to do the things I like to do.
I am learning that you should never move back into home. No matter how much you think you miss it, or how good it will be, IT IS NOT. I am suffocating under the pressure of lifestyle. My only alone time is in the shower. In all honesty, I hate to be alone, but I am definatly not used to being nagged at this much. I am on edge, getting feisty and I cant stop myself from snapping at my family. I will not take full responsibility for this, however I do feel like shit because of it. It is just hard working around people all day and coming home and being around people all night and being nagged constantly. I am suffering by not having my own bedroom. Or a proper bed. I am over having to go into my brother's room to get my clothes before he goes to sleep and I'm sick of not being able to come home whenever I want.
But as long as I am here there is nothing I can do about this. I just need to find a way to deal with it. And god I hope I find it very soon.
Monday 19 September 2011
The Little Things.
Living in a place like this its the little things that can really make your day. Maybe just something like a phone call from an old friend, or something as little as a certain word that just reminds me of home.
When I was in Jabiru the other weekend, I admit I had, had a few to drink and I had to purhcase take-aways (you can only purchase takeaways from a certain bar, and only if you have a permit card) so stupid me in my half-cut-ness saw the Jim Beam six pack. Under no circumstance do I drink Jim Beam. It makes me ill. So because my truest mates drink Jim Beam it gave me a flash back to home and I brought the damn thing. And as usual it make me sick as a dog. But at the same time it made me feel so much closer to home, maybe in a way that no one else can understand. Maybe the fact that my closest friends were drinking the same drink at the same time, made me feel like I would be even an inch closer to where they were.
Even on the good days finding something that reminds me closer to home makes things more bearable. I went to the other shop the other day and found that they sold Bundaberg Ginger Beer, Beef Jerky, and Red Rock Deli Chips. I couldnt believe it. The ginger beer alone made me want to drift back to bundy. Its just that little tiny thing that even being out here in the middle of no-where, can make me feel like im not completely alone.
But getting back to it, I was texting a mate of mine tonight and in his last text he sent "No Wukkas" (No worries) I swear to god I have never heard anyone outside of my group of friends say this. I have actually refrained from saying it because I didnt think anyone would know what I was talking about. It was suprising. And awesome. It made me feel like home. It was 100% good and 100% bad at the same time. Good because it reminds me of the good times and all my closest friends, and bad because I would give anything to be there.
It is crazy the things that I am missing. We all know the general things like my dog and my car. But I also miss my bed. I miss yelling at my dog because hes chasing the possum along the fence line. I miss going to the shop or the pub.
But most of all I miss my best friend. I didnt think that I would be so devastated at being apart. Everything, and mean everything reminds me of him. Maybe I didnt value how close we were and how much he made my day. It is this one thing that I am not sure is good or bad. I am not sure it is good to miss somebody so much.
However, I remain here, counting the weeks until I get on the plane out. I cannot wait to get home and see my dog, chuck him in the back of my ute and DRIVE!! This is what I look forward too most. Couldnt come soon enough.
Until next time.
When I was in Jabiru the other weekend, I admit I had, had a few to drink and I had to purhcase take-aways (you can only purchase takeaways from a certain bar, and only if you have a permit card) so stupid me in my half-cut-ness saw the Jim Beam six pack. Under no circumstance do I drink Jim Beam. It makes me ill. So because my truest mates drink Jim Beam it gave me a flash back to home and I brought the damn thing. And as usual it make me sick as a dog. But at the same time it made me feel so much closer to home, maybe in a way that no one else can understand. Maybe the fact that my closest friends were drinking the same drink at the same time, made me feel like I would be even an inch closer to where they were.
Even on the good days finding something that reminds me closer to home makes things more bearable. I went to the other shop the other day and found that they sold Bundaberg Ginger Beer, Beef Jerky, and Red Rock Deli Chips. I couldnt believe it. The ginger beer alone made me want to drift back to bundy. Its just that little tiny thing that even being out here in the middle of no-where, can make me feel like im not completely alone.
But getting back to it, I was texting a mate of mine tonight and in his last text he sent "No Wukkas" (No worries) I swear to god I have never heard anyone outside of my group of friends say this. I have actually refrained from saying it because I didnt think anyone would know what I was talking about. It was suprising. And awesome. It made me feel like home. It was 100% good and 100% bad at the same time. Good because it reminds me of the good times and all my closest friends, and bad because I would give anything to be there.
It is crazy the things that I am missing. We all know the general things like my dog and my car. But I also miss my bed. I miss yelling at my dog because hes chasing the possum along the fence line. I miss going to the shop or the pub.
But most of all I miss my best friend. I didnt think that I would be so devastated at being apart. Everything, and mean everything reminds me of him. Maybe I didnt value how close we were and how much he made my day. It is this one thing that I am not sure is good or bad. I am not sure it is good to miss somebody so much.
However, I remain here, counting the weeks until I get on the plane out. I cannot wait to get home and see my dog, chuck him in the back of my ute and DRIVE!! This is what I look forward too most. Couldnt come soon enough.
Until next time.
Saturday 17 September 2011
Fishing In the Territory
Before I begin I have to start with; I just saw a crocodile on the beach down at the barge landing. The same place where I saw children and dogs swimming yesterday arvo. It was about 2.5m long. This place never ceases to suprise you.
Anyway. I went fishing for the first proper time yesterday, out in a boat. We went out into the open water in this friggin tinny. There were three of us and I swear to god there were a few times when I seriously thought we were going to go under. The sea was rough. And it was windy as hell. It was the most unpredictable water I have ever seen in my life. The tide was going out but the wind pushing the water back upstream. Our little boat couldnt cope and most of the time we werent going anywhere at all. Be we finally made it up river and out of the wind.
As we began to fish I was being my usual smartass self about who was going to catch the first fish etc etc. I was standing up on the seat as well, so not really in the prime position for landing a huge fish. Next thing, winding in my lure i thought I had hit a snag, then this giant fish came to the surface and took off. It was the biggest fish I have EVER seen in my life. My line peeled off and I just stood there in disbelief, on my chair, while everyone else had the brains to actually sit down and hold on. Anyway basically I lost my balls and handed my rod over to Ritchie. Hes had a lot more experience than me in catching Barra so I figured if anyone could land it he could. We got it up alongside the boat but it had pulled us into some trees. So while crouching in these trees and trying not to tip the boat at the same time, the three of us were trying to get this giant fish in the boat. I had the net. Which was a total stupid idea. I have never used a net before. I didnt know what to do. PLUS the fish was too big for the net anyway! In the end we lost it. The boys were screaming like it was the end of the world. Obviously I hadnt yet come to realise how precious a fish this size actually is. Ritchie thinks it was at least 110cm. Apparently there are only like 3 people in town that have caught over a metre. He was devastated all day over our loss. Lol. I was just proud that was the first Barra I've ever hooked! This is just the beginning! Except of course if I never catch a Barra ever again I will hate this day for the rest of my life.
Truely the one that got away.
Anyway. I went fishing for the first proper time yesterday, out in a boat. We went out into the open water in this friggin tinny. There were three of us and I swear to god there were a few times when I seriously thought we were going to go under. The sea was rough. And it was windy as hell. It was the most unpredictable water I have ever seen in my life. The tide was going out but the wind pushing the water back upstream. Our little boat couldnt cope and most of the time we werent going anywhere at all. Be we finally made it up river and out of the wind.
As we began to fish I was being my usual smartass self about who was going to catch the first fish etc etc. I was standing up on the seat as well, so not really in the prime position for landing a huge fish. Next thing, winding in my lure i thought I had hit a snag, then this giant fish came to the surface and took off. It was the biggest fish I have EVER seen in my life. My line peeled off and I just stood there in disbelief, on my chair, while everyone else had the brains to actually sit down and hold on. Anyway basically I lost my balls and handed my rod over to Ritchie. Hes had a lot more experience than me in catching Barra so I figured if anyone could land it he could. We got it up alongside the boat but it had pulled us into some trees. So while crouching in these trees and trying not to tip the boat at the same time, the three of us were trying to get this giant fish in the boat. I had the net. Which was a total stupid idea. I have never used a net before. I didnt know what to do. PLUS the fish was too big for the net anyway! In the end we lost it. The boys were screaming like it was the end of the world. Obviously I hadnt yet come to realise how precious a fish this size actually is. Ritchie thinks it was at least 110cm. Apparently there are only like 3 people in town that have caught over a metre. He was devastated all day over our loss. Lol. I was just proud that was the first Barra I've ever hooked! This is just the beginning! Except of course if I never catch a Barra ever again I will hate this day for the rest of my life.
Truely the one that got away.
Friday 16 September 2011
A Part of The Furniture.
Ok. So I think I'm loosing my mind. As I become more familiar and comfortable in the community, the shitter it becomes. You cant talk to or be friends with any men here because they have history with someone else. And they ALL have history. It is so fucking ridiculous. I accepted a ride the other day from a friend of mine. This is the first and only time I have ever been in a car alone with him. And some fucking stupid faggot of a woman goes running to my mother asking if me and him are together. He gave me a ride home for fuck sake. And on top of this, this woman is married. Obviously she has nothing better to do. People here are so shallow and ridiculous. So cannot say or do anything without some one else noticing or hearing and passing it on.
It is sad when you realise that this is the place where the people from the bottom of the barrel go to. It might be harsh but its true. These people are horrible. You have to try with all your might just to make acquaintances here let along an actual good mate. Amazingly I have heard some pretty crazy stories about myself this week. I mean seriously these people could be writers their shit is that good. The sad thing is that they are people that shouldnt be concerned with anything that I do. They are as old as my mum for frick sake. And OLDER. It is quite possible that they are intimidated by my prescence here. I havent been here very long and I've just merged straight into being friendly with everyone. Maybe they are jealous. Who fricken knows. But its ridiculous. The worst part is that I dont care what happens from here on in. I dont have to impress anyone here. This is not my home.
I am torn between giving these bitches a piece of my mind and between pretending like I dont care. I dont particularly care, its just that some of the stuff I am starting to hear could affect the people I care about. So I dunno. I suppose I should just feel sad for these women, that this is the only thing in their lives that makes them feel any good. That they need to make some one else look like shit to make them selves feel better.
Anyways. Thats that. Welcome to Maningrida.
It is sad when you realise that this is the place where the people from the bottom of the barrel go to. It might be harsh but its true. These people are horrible. You have to try with all your might just to make acquaintances here let along an actual good mate. Amazingly I have heard some pretty crazy stories about myself this week. I mean seriously these people could be writers their shit is that good. The sad thing is that they are people that shouldnt be concerned with anything that I do. They are as old as my mum for frick sake. And OLDER. It is quite possible that they are intimidated by my prescence here. I havent been here very long and I've just merged straight into being friendly with everyone. Maybe they are jealous. Who fricken knows. But its ridiculous. The worst part is that I dont care what happens from here on in. I dont have to impress anyone here. This is not my home.
I am torn between giving these bitches a piece of my mind and between pretending like I dont care. I dont particularly care, its just that some of the stuff I am starting to hear could affect the people I care about. So I dunno. I suppose I should just feel sad for these women, that this is the only thing in their lives that makes them feel any good. That they need to make some one else look like shit to make them selves feel better.
Anyways. Thats that. Welcome to Maningrida.
Tuesday 13 September 2011
Back to Square One
Well hello again square one. You werent gone for too long. I'm feeling like I have only just arrived here again. Three of my closest mates have left for good today. And another two go on the weekend. All my time spend puting any sort of energy into friendships has all been wasted. I know other people here but I am not so close with them. It is going to take alot of hard work to even get into a circle around here. I suppose that is just the way it is. People come and go so fricken often you just have to accept it.
Today I am also learning another important community lesson, that is - never trust anyone. EVER. No matter how nice they are or however close you think they may be, they will have an allegiance somewhere else. I learnt this the hard way. The gossip mill here is ridiculous. You cant just be happy and friends with everyone because people have nothing better to do they feel the need to spread shit about you, or someone else for that matter. So because of this I will be spending quite a bit of time alone in the future. Fuck the social life. I will just keep my head down and save my coin so I can go the fuck home. These fuckers dont deserve my friendship, Ive already learnt that they will be useless mates so Fuck them.
All the ladies I am working with today are Indigenous. Not that I particularly care, but it sucks when they dont make converstaion with you. Its just their way. Incredibly shy. So I feel like a wank most of the day trying to make meaningless converstaion. Most of my day has consisted of sitting in my smoke cage playing fucking Tiny Wings til I get a customer.
My brother arrives this Saturday so hopefully that will make things a little bit more interesting. And my 6 bottles of wine arrive as well. Sure to make things alot better. By the end of the weekend I'll be lucky if i have a bottle left. I can understand why alcohol is regulated so much here. It can be such a fucked place to live in, and I know for sure that if I could drink every night I WOULD. The stress is too intense. And its not even propper stress. My job is easy for fuck sake. Ive got nothing to actually stress about. No responsibility. No expences. But I think its just to loneliness. And homesickness. And lack of things to do. Or friends to make. I think that is where the stress comes from. If you dont own a 4WD or a boat here your fucked. There is nothing for you to do. Or purpose for you being here. And I own neither of those two things. So for me to have a remotely interesting life here I have to constantly try to get invites from people. Fricken tiring thats for sure.
Well I have just put a 6 pack of Carlton Mid tinnies of my brother's into the fridge. He doesnt know it yet but I will be buying them off him and drinking them tonight. Sad really that I spend all my time here thinking of alcohol, how much I miss it, or when the next shipment is coming or when I have to order. They wonder why people have issues.
Anyways. I must get myself back to work and leave in enough time for me to choof down as many durries as possible to make it all seem a tiny bit better.
Bobo.
Today I am also learning another important community lesson, that is - never trust anyone. EVER. No matter how nice they are or however close you think they may be, they will have an allegiance somewhere else. I learnt this the hard way. The gossip mill here is ridiculous. You cant just be happy and friends with everyone because people have nothing better to do they feel the need to spread shit about you, or someone else for that matter. So because of this I will be spending quite a bit of time alone in the future. Fuck the social life. I will just keep my head down and save my coin so I can go the fuck home. These fuckers dont deserve my friendship, Ive already learnt that they will be useless mates so Fuck them.
All the ladies I am working with today are Indigenous. Not that I particularly care, but it sucks when they dont make converstaion with you. Its just their way. Incredibly shy. So I feel like a wank most of the day trying to make meaningless converstaion. Most of my day has consisted of sitting in my smoke cage playing fucking Tiny Wings til I get a customer.
My brother arrives this Saturday so hopefully that will make things a little bit more interesting. And my 6 bottles of wine arrive as well. Sure to make things alot better. By the end of the weekend I'll be lucky if i have a bottle left. I can understand why alcohol is regulated so much here. It can be such a fucked place to live in, and I know for sure that if I could drink every night I WOULD. The stress is too intense. And its not even propper stress. My job is easy for fuck sake. Ive got nothing to actually stress about. No responsibility. No expences. But I think its just to loneliness. And homesickness. And lack of things to do. Or friends to make. I think that is where the stress comes from. If you dont own a 4WD or a boat here your fucked. There is nothing for you to do. Or purpose for you being here. And I own neither of those two things. So for me to have a remotely interesting life here I have to constantly try to get invites from people. Fricken tiring thats for sure.
Well I have just put a 6 pack of Carlton Mid tinnies of my brother's into the fridge. He doesnt know it yet but I will be buying them off him and drinking them tonight. Sad really that I spend all my time here thinking of alcohol, how much I miss it, or when the next shipment is coming or when I have to order. They wonder why people have issues.
Anyways. I must get myself back to work and leave in enough time for me to choof down as many durries as possible to make it all seem a tiny bit better.
Bobo.
Skin Name
Today I met up with my my mum's teaching assistant. She is Indigenous and classes my mum as her sister. Because she classes my mum as her sister that means that her children class me and my brothers as their brothers and sisters. Sharon (the assistant teacher) says my skin name is "Blunjang". Im not totally sure if thats how you spell it but that is how it is said. Different family lines, have different skin names. This also is dependant on what country you are from as well. I was pretty stoked that they call me apart of their family. Its awesome. The only crap part is that a mate of mine killed their pet pig the other day because it mauled his dog. Turns out the pig was a pet of their nephew's. They are devastated. And they know that it was a mate of mine who killed it - thanks to my mother for puting me in the shit for that one, now I am caught in the middle. I am honestly a little entertained by the whole situation. However I did assure her that when I go hunting next I will try and get her a piglet to replace the one that was killed.
I went out into the community tonight to watch a short film made by the student teachers from Melbourne. It was pretty awesome when I rocked up and saw quite a few people that I knew. Getting to know everyone is pretty fun. You can tell they get excited when they see you, or come specifically to your aisle just because they know you. Its a really nice sense of achievement.
The kids here really like my tattoos. They like to touch them and see if they can feel anything on my skin. One kid said today it was "lovely". They come out with some of the cutest sayings. It is days like today that I can see myself staying in the community for a while and helping people. But I know this feeling doesnt hang around long. I wish I could just find a way to not make it so up and down emotionally. Its not even like people are mean to you or anything to make it depressing I think it is just the isolation maybe. But hopefully things will calm down a little.
Still very proud that I got my skin name today. I like to think that I am apart of some one else's family like that.
I went out into the community tonight to watch a short film made by the student teachers from Melbourne. It was pretty awesome when I rocked up and saw quite a few people that I knew. Getting to know everyone is pretty fun. You can tell they get excited when they see you, or come specifically to your aisle just because they know you. Its a really nice sense of achievement.
The kids here really like my tattoos. They like to touch them and see if they can feel anything on my skin. One kid said today it was "lovely". They come out with some of the cutest sayings. It is days like today that I can see myself staying in the community for a while and helping people. But I know this feeling doesnt hang around long. I wish I could just find a way to not make it so up and down emotionally. Its not even like people are mean to you or anything to make it depressing I think it is just the isolation maybe. But hopefully things will calm down a little.
Still very proud that I got my skin name today. I like to think that I am apart of some one else's family like that.
Sunday 11 September 2011
The Build Up.
At this time of year the Build Up begins. The build up to the wet season that is. On Wednesday night I heard rumours that the "wind had changed direction", meaning that the beginnning of the wet season is not fair away. I didnt really believe this much, thinking that the change of the wind direction happens all the time. Who could possibly know? Well by Friday it was over-cast, hot as hell and we had a shower. Its pretty crazy that after all of the influence that the white man has had, and considering that many these days have lost alot of their skills, that they can still determine the change of season. It is natural instinct to these people. The more I see here, the sadder it gets to think that they are lost in the white world and loosing so much of the precious skills and culture.
However, everyday I make a point of talking to and meeting as many locals as I can. The way I see it is that if they like me, they will help me if I am ever in a dangerous situation, or lost or anything of that sort. The more people that I meet the more I realise that there are alot of people - white and black, that are doing whats best for the community.
I met a young fellow in Jabiru on the weekend, Bernard. The more I got to know him the more I was impressed by the things that he is doing for the community. He is only 19 and is the Manager of Child Safety. He was handed a child at the age of 13 because his brother could not take care of her. An intense way to become father. He plans to become a police man, and travel to Europe. I love meeting local people that actually have aspirations. An aim to be better people, and create better lives for their families. Unfortunatley there is not a very high success rate, as the more money that they make, the more their families will take from them.
Jabiru this weekend taught and important lessing in trusting people. I know that I too easily trust people. I am not very cautious and think the best of everyone. And once again it has gotten the better of me. I am beginning to notice that most white people that are here have only come because they were in a rut, just broken up from a boyfriend, had no point in life, etc; they are a generally troubled bunch of people. No matter how close I think I am to someone here, theres a good chance the next day they wont talk to you. Its fucking ridiculous. I dont know if it is because they are used to people coming and going so much that they dont bother to get to know people until they have hung around for a while, or if they are generally rude. I dont get it. Im a bit over it to be quite honest. I think for the next two weeks or so I will stick to myself.
Along with this the general mood of the entire community is likely to change in the near future due to the build up. The weather is about to get extremely intense and hot. And it is likely the wet will start early apparently. Being stuck inside does things to people. Lets just wait and see how that goes I spose.
On the way back from Jabiru I got to see a crocodile again. It was huge. I think it could have swallowed me whole and I wouldnt have touched the sides. He was just chilling on the bank. And people were just fishing nearby. Crazy fucks. We then stopped off halfway home to check out some rocks on the side of the road. The whole of Arnhem land is laiden with crazy rocks formations. It is hardly believeable that they have just developed that way over thousands of years. Anyway, we stopped off to check out these rocks and there were Aboriginal paintings on them. It was so amazing. A goanna, a turtle and what looked like warrior that had been covered up. We then continued on a little further to some rocks that a friend had pointed out earlier and we decided to check them out. We did a little bush trek to get thru to them, and it was 100% worth it. There were paintings of men with spears and heaps of other stuff. One thing in particular was the Wandjina spirit. It was so raw on the rocks, like it had been done yesterday. Its amazing to think that so long ago in that same place, there was people, possibly living at this rock and doing these paintings. The Wandjina spirit (pictured below) is the bringer of all and the most powerful spirit. Possibly, like their God I suppose. I didnt take my own pictures of this particular painting because it was possibly a sacred site, that I may not have been allowed on, mostly due to this painting. And adding to this it had a weird feel about it. I am not particularly religious but will am not at all afraid to admit that Black Magic scares the shit out of me. Some of the stories I have heard are enough to give people nightmares. So I opted not to take the photo of the spirit and leave it up to Google instead. But it was still awesome! I have some photos of the goanna and turtle paintings that I will post later.
However I most finish up this post. I need to recover as much as possible from my weekend before work tomorrow.
Oh and just before I go, I visited the site where the "Rainbow Serpent" story was created, this is the most well known story amongst most Australians, not just Indigenous. Its an amazing wetland just outside of Jabiru. As much as this place is starting to get me down, there are so many incredible things up here that kind of make it all worth it.
However, everyday I make a point of talking to and meeting as many locals as I can. The way I see it is that if they like me, they will help me if I am ever in a dangerous situation, or lost or anything of that sort. The more people that I meet the more I realise that there are alot of people - white and black, that are doing whats best for the community.
I met a young fellow in Jabiru on the weekend, Bernard. The more I got to know him the more I was impressed by the things that he is doing for the community. He is only 19 and is the Manager of Child Safety. He was handed a child at the age of 13 because his brother could not take care of her. An intense way to become father. He plans to become a police man, and travel to Europe. I love meeting local people that actually have aspirations. An aim to be better people, and create better lives for their families. Unfortunatley there is not a very high success rate, as the more money that they make, the more their families will take from them.
Jabiru this weekend taught and important lessing in trusting people. I know that I too easily trust people. I am not very cautious and think the best of everyone. And once again it has gotten the better of me. I am beginning to notice that most white people that are here have only come because they were in a rut, just broken up from a boyfriend, had no point in life, etc; they are a generally troubled bunch of people. No matter how close I think I am to someone here, theres a good chance the next day they wont talk to you. Its fucking ridiculous. I dont know if it is because they are used to people coming and going so much that they dont bother to get to know people until they have hung around for a while, or if they are generally rude. I dont get it. Im a bit over it to be quite honest. I think for the next two weeks or so I will stick to myself.
Along with this the general mood of the entire community is likely to change in the near future due to the build up. The weather is about to get extremely intense and hot. And it is likely the wet will start early apparently. Being stuck inside does things to people. Lets just wait and see how that goes I spose.
On the way back from Jabiru I got to see a crocodile again. It was huge. I think it could have swallowed me whole and I wouldnt have touched the sides. He was just chilling on the bank. And people were just fishing nearby. Crazy fucks. We then stopped off halfway home to check out some rocks on the side of the road. The whole of Arnhem land is laiden with crazy rocks formations. It is hardly believeable that they have just developed that way over thousands of years. Anyway, we stopped off to check out these rocks and there were Aboriginal paintings on them. It was so amazing. A goanna, a turtle and what looked like warrior that had been covered up. We then continued on a little further to some rocks that a friend had pointed out earlier and we decided to check them out. We did a little bush trek to get thru to them, and it was 100% worth it. There were paintings of men with spears and heaps of other stuff. One thing in particular was the Wandjina spirit. It was so raw on the rocks, like it had been done yesterday. Its amazing to think that so long ago in that same place, there was people, possibly living at this rock and doing these paintings. The Wandjina spirit (pictured below) is the bringer of all and the most powerful spirit. Possibly, like their God I suppose. I didnt take my own pictures of this particular painting because it was possibly a sacred site, that I may not have been allowed on, mostly due to this painting. And adding to this it had a weird feel about it. I am not particularly religious but will am not at all afraid to admit that Black Magic scares the shit out of me. Some of the stories I have heard are enough to give people nightmares. So I opted not to take the photo of the spirit and leave it up to Google instead. But it was still awesome! I have some photos of the goanna and turtle paintings that I will post later.
However I most finish up this post. I need to recover as much as possible from my weekend before work tomorrow.
Oh and just before I go, I visited the site where the "Rainbow Serpent" story was created, this is the most well known story amongst most Australians, not just Indigenous. Its an amazing wetland just outside of Jabiru. As much as this place is starting to get me down, there are so many incredible things up here that kind of make it all worth it.
Thursday 8 September 2011
HUNTING.
A mate of mine from here took me out hunting for pig and buffalo last night. I've never been so excited for something in my life. The plan was to leave pretty much straight after work. After chucking the guns and the dogs in the back of the ute we headed East out of town. I rode in the back of troupe carrier until we got pretty far into the bush - we went down the same direction where I had been out setting fireworks off the week before. We got about 20km out of town and we all jumped onto the back of the ute armed with the 2 guns and the spotlight. And then we drove. And drove. And tried to spot out Buffalo. Buffalo were our main target.
After a while I spotted our first Buffalo. We pulled up, but it ran too far into the thick before we could take shot. It was all pretty exciting. I couldnt believe that we had seen one just on the side of the road, and how close we had come to getting it!
As we went on we approached an Outstation. Until this moment I wasnt entirely sure exactly what an Outstation was. Ive heard people talk about them, saying they come from one, or that they work there and no one could ever really explain what it was. So basically its a small group of people, a tiny community living together. Its impressively alot cleaner than our community. They have power, decent housing, and AUSTAR! So its a pretty nice little set up they have going. Alot of the time the people that live on the outstations are the traditional land owners of that area. (Every piece of land up here had a traditional land owner (A "T.O"), they get paid royalties for the white man being on their land. I have heard of people getting paid like $20 000 every quarter just for the white man being here. But they still treat us like shit, even though they get compensated for us being here).
As I was saying, the outstation where we went to last night is where the T.O lives for the land we were hunting on. Everyone has to get permission to hunt on their land or they can fine you, take your car etc etc. It can get fairly hectic. So basically they just charge you to hunt on their land. Usually you will just give them some meat when you return of something like that. For example last night Dave (the T.O) asked for a sets of horns if we got a Buffalo.
After meeting with Dave we continued on further into the bush. It took ages for us to even see anything living. Once we did we saw a small herd of Buffalo. Our driver was a local man called Olly. Its a great choice to have someone like that driving because they know the bush like the back of their hand. We get the Buffalo lined up for a shot, they Olly takes off in the truck! We are bouncing around on the back of this truck, trying to take a shot at these buffalo going about 40km. It was hectic, Richie still went for the shot though. As the gun fired, I didnt even consider how loud it was going to be, my ears blocked instantly, I nearly fell off the back of the truck and dropped the spotlight. After all the commotion I think we got a shot in but didnt take any down.
After this we ended up finding a pig, which as it went down another one ran out of the scrub. So we decided to go with it and chase it down. Olly did a pretty good job of getting up next to it......and running it over. The poor thing had a mangled back and still wasnt dead. It didnt suffer too long. This was the first pig that I ever saw get cut up. I decided to jump straight in and help him cut it up. Even though I was a little weirded out by the fact that it had been alive about 90seconds ago. But there i was holding it up by the ears, pulling its legs around and carrying them into the back of the ute, and pulling the ribs out.
We continued on. We still needed at least one buff to end the night. I reckon we would have done about 20kms before we saw anything and it was now my turn to try and shoot something. For about an hour and half we drove. And I sat. I sat so tense, just waiting for that blue glint of a buffalo eye. Would I choke? Would I be quick enough? Would I remember how to shoot the gun? Would I shame myself by a stupid shot? I was having some serious performance anxiety issues. Proper self doubt.
Then it happened. We saw them. About 50m away in some bush. I thank god that they were in the bush because that meant that Richie took the shot (he's an incredible aim). He took the shot and it went down. This was it. The moment that I'd get to see my first buffalo up close, and watch it get cut up. We got over there and I walk over in all my excitement to take a photo. Turns out the buffalo wasnt dead and tried to get up. I shit myself and ran. These things can tip over cars. Its back would have stood about my shoulder height. He put another shot in its head to be sure. We went over to start cutting it apart. I decided 'Its all or nothing' I cant come all this way and not get amongst it. So I pick up the Buff leg and Richie starts to cut. The friggin thing still had life left in it and kicked its leg out. I shit myself. I dropped that shit and ran. And probably screamed a little bit as well. I admit it was a bit emabarassing. But hey, it was my first time.
But I got over it. I held the leg while he cut it. It was epic. The legs weigh about 100kg each. So I basically had my whole weight pulling these legs. Fell over a few times and all my muscles in my arms are shot today. When we got the first leg off, I noticed that the meat was twitching like it was still alive. It was so interesting. I really think its something worth doing. I reckon it would have taken over and hour to take apart. I even got amongst it and had my hands in under the ribs trying to pull them out. My feet were covered in blood. Flesh on my hands. It was the most intense thing. We ended up getting the horns for Dave, even though it was a crazy struggle.
After this, due to our covered-in-blood-ness, we decided to call it a night. Richie still insisted that the whole way back we still spotlight just in case there is something there. He reckoned that I could go for whatever we saw. To be honest my arms were still that shot from lifting the buff legs I couldnt even lift the gun to shoot it. Glad we didnt come across anything else. I wouldnt have been able to do it all again. We made it back to the outstation, where Dave met us to see what we had caught. He then told us he didnt even want the head of the buff, it was the horns he wanted! After all the struggle we went to, to get the head off, I couldnt believe it.
We headed home.
I had the most amazing time. Its crazy when you get back to nature like that. Everything that we killed last night will be eaten. The meat we salvaged was donated to all the locals. Out here if you kill something for no purpose but just to kill it, you get into trouble. Why kill something for no reason? If we dont want the meat, there is always someone here who will eat it. Its a great process. We dont go out for the purpose of eating the meat. We go for the thrill of the hunt, so the locals benefit from this. And by giving them the meat you also gain their trust and build lifetime bonds. I didnt get to shoot anything, but thats ok. Im glad I just got to sit back and watch it all. I will go again. I wont be killing a Buffalo, even though I said I would. I just cant do that. I dont want to kill something that I wont be able to cut up. And there is no way I can cut up a buff. A pig will be no sweat.
However I must end my blog here for today. I have an epic day ahead tomorrow. Jabiru is planned for the weekend again, which it has taken me the whole week to secure a ride in. The amount of alcohol that is going to be drank to make up for this intense week is going to be historic. And possibly quite a bit sad. It is worrying that I am relying on getting out of town for the weekend just so I can soothe my issues with alcohol. But on the other hand, life here is intense, and not always great. I find myself in quite deep depression if I dont do anything or have anything planned. But! I must go.
See you all on the other side of a weekend in Jabiru.
Monday 5 September 2011
Death, Culture and Everyday Life.
As I continue to get more and more familiar with my surroundings I get the opportunity to learn more about Aboriginal culture. Once the people are familiar with you, they begin to trust you; but it takes quite a while. For example today, I was on the register and a fellow was standing in front of me as I put his groceries through. Then it looked like he spat something on the ground. I looked over the counter and it turned out he had just spat on my floor. Right in front of me. I couldnt believe it. He didnt care. How gross! I made him wipe it up and put the paper towel in the bin. Im not sure if he will respect me more for this, or if he will come and hunt me down for telling a man what to do. Either way I dont believe in getting walked over by somebody just because I am white. It is a very interesting change in life to be the minority when my whole life I have been in the majority. However when I was apart of the mojority, there is no way I would ever spit on someone's floor.
DEATH
As I wrote in an earlier post, our store had to close due to a dead body coming back into the community. This particular dead body only got burried Friday just passed; when it returned Thursday 3 weeks ago. The culture of the particular tribe that resides here is that their body stays above ground until most family members have paid respects. Alot of time they have to travel quite a distance to do so. From my house, every afternoon for the last 3 weeks I have been able to hear chanting and clap sticks, for hours on end. The family is required to attend the ceremony every night, and dance while helping the soul move on. One of the family members is one of my colleagues and I have been lucky enough to hear about the whole ordeal.
So basically this body has been sitting; most likely in this family's living room for the last 3weeks. I have heard stories about bodies sitting there for a number of weeks and starting to deteriorate due to the heat, and fluids seeping from the coffin; which by the way my shop sells so i found out today. These bodies, the family will bury in their yard. There have been cases of the Community Pigs (there are wild pigs that roam freely around our community) found eating body parts. You can drive around the area and see crosses and flowers in peoples yards (I had wondered why my work sold so many plastic flowers). After a while the family will then dig up the body and relocate to their traditional burial ground. My colleague tells me that his grandmother is burried here and that they have to move her before the end of the year. The reason they keep their loved ones in their yards is so that they can grieve for them and have them close by soon after their death.
There is an insane amount of hangings within Aboriginal culture. Within our community there has been 3 (that I know of) since I have been here. They live in the here and now. They cannot forsee or predict outcomes. Many times they will fight, generally over boyfriends, or wives or husbands. To show how distraught they are they, for some reason unknown to me, hang themselves. They do not understand that they will die from this act. I have been told that one boy, a while ago, hung himself. They family left him there to hang, for weeks. And after that they moved him onto a tree in town. And then to another tree out on their country. Sometimes they will do this as punishment, or because of disgrace.
Luckily I have not got to see any of this so far. But every person I speak to here has a similar experience of some kind. I live in probably the best neighbourhood within the community. Everyone in my street is white, and pretty straight edge, so in a way I am quite sheltered from the outside going-ons. I have made a couple of friends within the community and I get my info from them about what is going. Its even more interesting when you have an insiders point of view.
This weekend just past is a grog hand out weekend. Anyone over 18 can have a permit for alcohol within the community; however it is limited. The options are:
- one carton of heavy beer, and one carton of light or mid
- one carton of mid/light beer and 6 bottles of wine; or
- two cartons of light/mid beer
These are provided once every two weeks. So the grog handout day is every second Saturday morning. By the time I finish at lunchtime most of the community would be half cut. By night fall, I probably wouldnt walk around much. These are the nights when all the shit goes down. I actually pity the police on this night, as most people would drink all of their alcohol until they either pass out or until its gone. This is not to say that the white dont do the same thing. My colleague was telling me over the weekend his cousin stabbed his other cousin in the neck and slit his wrists, because he had smoked ganga and drank too much which caused some sort of disagreement between the two.
CULTURE
Today I was speaking with my friend who is a local. He is a really genuine hard worker, which is not common here at all. He comes to work every day without fail and is always in the brightest of moods. However within their culture it is one for all. If one of the family works they are expected to provide for the rest of the family. If you are asked by your family to give money, you must do it. It is expected. Anyway. We were speaking today, and he invited me to attend his son's coming of age ceremony next week. The terrible part is that the ceremony entails him being circumsized, however I am extremely honored to be invited. The fact that after such a short time I have been welcomed to share an event like this with his family is mindblowing. The fact that I'm white and I got asked to attend is pretty rare as well. I'm super excited - also quite nervous. But this is my first true traditional ceremony. Many coming of age ceremonies, women arent allowed to attend and are held in the bush. I am interested to see if where this ceremony will be held.
The more and more I get used to the way of life up here, the more I worry if I will ever be comfortable with main stream life ever again. I love the freedom here. If you dont show up to work the boss wont call you at all, they will just assume that you will show up one day. Doesnt matter if your late back from your lunch break, or late to work for that matter; these things take time. If your phone rings at work, just answer it. Never hurry. No need to stress because no one else in the community has anything of any importance to do. If you cant find your shoes in the morning, thats ok, wear whatever you like. It doesnt matter what you wear - as long as its not inappropriate, or how your hair is. Its great. Ive never felt so connected with myself, and so free to be me. I like it.
DEATH
As I wrote in an earlier post, our store had to close due to a dead body coming back into the community. This particular dead body only got burried Friday just passed; when it returned Thursday 3 weeks ago. The culture of the particular tribe that resides here is that their body stays above ground until most family members have paid respects. Alot of time they have to travel quite a distance to do so. From my house, every afternoon for the last 3 weeks I have been able to hear chanting and clap sticks, for hours on end. The family is required to attend the ceremony every night, and dance while helping the soul move on. One of the family members is one of my colleagues and I have been lucky enough to hear about the whole ordeal.
So basically this body has been sitting; most likely in this family's living room for the last 3weeks. I have heard stories about bodies sitting there for a number of weeks and starting to deteriorate due to the heat, and fluids seeping from the coffin; which by the way my shop sells so i found out today. These bodies, the family will bury in their yard. There have been cases of the Community Pigs (there are wild pigs that roam freely around our community) found eating body parts. You can drive around the area and see crosses and flowers in peoples yards (I had wondered why my work sold so many plastic flowers). After a while the family will then dig up the body and relocate to their traditional burial ground. My colleague tells me that his grandmother is burried here and that they have to move her before the end of the year. The reason they keep their loved ones in their yards is so that they can grieve for them and have them close by soon after their death.
There is an insane amount of hangings within Aboriginal culture. Within our community there has been 3 (that I know of) since I have been here. They live in the here and now. They cannot forsee or predict outcomes. Many times they will fight, generally over boyfriends, or wives or husbands. To show how distraught they are they, for some reason unknown to me, hang themselves. They do not understand that they will die from this act. I have been told that one boy, a while ago, hung himself. They family left him there to hang, for weeks. And after that they moved him onto a tree in town. And then to another tree out on their country. Sometimes they will do this as punishment, or because of disgrace.
Luckily I have not got to see any of this so far. But every person I speak to here has a similar experience of some kind. I live in probably the best neighbourhood within the community. Everyone in my street is white, and pretty straight edge, so in a way I am quite sheltered from the outside going-ons. I have made a couple of friends within the community and I get my info from them about what is going. Its even more interesting when you have an insiders point of view.
This weekend just past is a grog hand out weekend. Anyone over 18 can have a permit for alcohol within the community; however it is limited. The options are:
- one carton of heavy beer, and one carton of light or mid
- one carton of mid/light beer and 6 bottles of wine; or
- two cartons of light/mid beer
These are provided once every two weeks. So the grog handout day is every second Saturday morning. By the time I finish at lunchtime most of the community would be half cut. By night fall, I probably wouldnt walk around much. These are the nights when all the shit goes down. I actually pity the police on this night, as most people would drink all of their alcohol until they either pass out or until its gone. This is not to say that the white dont do the same thing. My colleague was telling me over the weekend his cousin stabbed his other cousin in the neck and slit his wrists, because he had smoked ganga and drank too much which caused some sort of disagreement between the two.
CULTURE
Today I was speaking with my friend who is a local. He is a really genuine hard worker, which is not common here at all. He comes to work every day without fail and is always in the brightest of moods. However within their culture it is one for all. If one of the family works they are expected to provide for the rest of the family. If you are asked by your family to give money, you must do it. It is expected. Anyway. We were speaking today, and he invited me to attend his son's coming of age ceremony next week. The terrible part is that the ceremony entails him being circumsized, however I am extremely honored to be invited. The fact that after such a short time I have been welcomed to share an event like this with his family is mindblowing. The fact that I'm white and I got asked to attend is pretty rare as well. I'm super excited - also quite nervous. But this is my first true traditional ceremony. Many coming of age ceremonies, women arent allowed to attend and are held in the bush. I am interested to see if where this ceremony will be held.
The more and more I get used to the way of life up here, the more I worry if I will ever be comfortable with main stream life ever again. I love the freedom here. If you dont show up to work the boss wont call you at all, they will just assume that you will show up one day. Doesnt matter if your late back from your lunch break, or late to work for that matter; these things take time. If your phone rings at work, just answer it. Never hurry. No need to stress because no one else in the community has anything of any importance to do. If you cant find your shoes in the morning, thats ok, wear whatever you like. It doesnt matter what you wear - as long as its not inappropriate, or how your hair is. Its great. Ive never felt so connected with myself, and so free to be me. I like it.
Friday 2 September 2011
A New Perspective
Since my last post life here has changed quite interestingly. Mostly for the better. I have made a very close friend over the last two weeks. Last weekend we ventured to Jabiru; which is the closest town to our community. And it has a pub. The main draw card.
The trip was totally last minute, we had no plans and all we knew was that we were going to Jabiru and alot of people from our community would be there. It is approximately a 200km trip of which about 170km of the road is gravel, and not guaranteed to be in great condition. Along the way I got to see my first Water Buffaloes. A pretty exciting moment. I spent most of the trip staring out of the window taking in all the scenery until it got too dark. We crossed the last crossing into Jabiru, it is known to be full of Crocodiles. I got to see a pair of croc-eyes which glinted in our head lights. About 20m away from this was someone fishing - at night. Unbelievable.
We got into Jabbers at about 9.30 at night and went straight to the pub. An interesting little place, a couple of pokie machines, a cement slab out the back where an ABBA cover band were performing, and most importantly - Red Rum. I wasted no time in catching up with my best friend. We definately drank until we got our fill, and then we drank some more. I caught up with quite a few people from Maningrida and we all hung out and drank together. We caught up with people who lived in our community before me but had moved back to civilisation. Some of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I felt like I was leaving my family when we had to leave. Seeing people from our community in Jabbers is like being on school camp. It brings you oddly closer because you have a particular memory of which you all share
The morning came way too quickly, which did not help my hangover at all. We decided to head back towards Maningrida for the festival at Oenpelli. On the way we stopped at the last crossing we had crossed the night before (after I had had my first roadside spew - a little embarassing, a little mile-stone-ish.) as we strolled down the bank of the crossing we noticed hundreds of fish splashing around in the water, visible and very catchable. I then realised that there were 2 crocodiles just cruising by down the stream. The one I could see the best would have been about 2.5m long. Just chilling on the other side of the river. I was ecstatic. This was the one thing that I had desperately wanted to see while being in the Territory, and I cant believe I conquered it so soon. The day which followed was great. We explored Oenpelli - the neighbouring community, and I saw Arnhem Land. The terrain here is pretty unbelievable to me. Its like nothing I have ever seen. There are rocks that have been carved by the weather over thousands of years all throughout Arnhem Land. One in particular has the face of a local man on one side and the face of a monkey on the other. Its huge and approximately 50m tall. No one would have carved that shit. The night continued on to be interesting and epic. Alot more alcohol consumption and meeting and greeting of fellow Maningridans. Some of which I will think will turn into long lasting friends.
The whole weekend had no plan or schedule. At no stage did we know what we were going to get up to. It was amazing just being free in a place with so many people that I knew, and who of which had the same perspective as me. Everyone was there to live it up and just let free. My trip home was pretty trying. Our driver was not the best. We had to take a young local boy along with us because the road back home was closed for ceremony; which can be for many reasons, including right of passage type ceremonies, or fertility ceremonies. Males do not know what goes on at womens ceremonies and vice-versa. Because the land where the road is, is owned by the Aboriginals (who get paid thousands of dollars in royalties a year for the white man being on their land) they have the right to close the road for up to a month at any time. So anyway, on our last stretch into town our driver nearly rolled our vehicle. I think our Local passanger nearly jumped out of his skin. If the situation had further developed and the had rolled, if the boy had been injured or killed, the driver may have had to pay off the family or may have even been ran out of town.
This week I stayed with a friend which gave me opportunity for alot of new experiences. One night this week we got a hold of a few beers and got a few mates over. The evening ended up in a place called Fred's Bridge approx 20km out of town. In between town and Fred's bridge, we stopped and let off some fireworks. And then went to check some Cherapin pots (freshwater lobster). Its crazy how a slow evening out here can turn into something so exciting. I had the best time and I couldnt wipe the smile off my face. Our night ended with us sitting at this bridge drinking beers and speaking shit. I couldnt have imagined anything better.
The next night I visited a mate who had been hunting the night before. He had a buffalo head on the tray of his ute. Waiting for the skin to rot away so he could mount the scull.
The way of life here is amazing. Its simple but the range of things that you can get up to here is totally exciting. Its relaxed. I have lists of things that i want to achieve before I leave, I am beginning to worry that I wont be able to save a dime and become so enticed by this life style that I will get so wrapped up that I will never leave. But in all at this point I am very happy here. I have never felt so much like myself. And I cant believe how much I smile during the day time. I feel at peace here and I wonder if maybe this is where I am meant to be. I am beginning to become familiar with a few of the locals. I feel a sense of achievement when they remember me, or even speak to me. Even so much as getting a "how are you" is an achievement for me. For looking like such a shit place at first glance, I cannot believe how much I like it. I do accept that there will be down days though. Everyone has them. Cabin Fever does set in. But for now I am just going to enjoy where I am at. I love feeling this happy, it make me want to somehow help the people here, or try and make it better in some way. I have considered doing some volunteer work with the youth centre. But I dont want to get in too deep and ruin all my Europe plans. Either way, this is great for now.
Cheers to finding happiness!
"Happiness is fine, but its momentary...
A momentary lapse of Relality,
Relality is fine, but for the moment it can wait because I'm addicted to the chase of my Happiness"
- Illy.
The trip was totally last minute, we had no plans and all we knew was that we were going to Jabiru and alot of people from our community would be there. It is approximately a 200km trip of which about 170km of the road is gravel, and not guaranteed to be in great condition. Along the way I got to see my first Water Buffaloes. A pretty exciting moment. I spent most of the trip staring out of the window taking in all the scenery until it got too dark. We crossed the last crossing into Jabiru, it is known to be full of Crocodiles. I got to see a pair of croc-eyes which glinted in our head lights. About 20m away from this was someone fishing - at night. Unbelievable.
We got into Jabbers at about 9.30 at night and went straight to the pub. An interesting little place, a couple of pokie machines, a cement slab out the back where an ABBA cover band were performing, and most importantly - Red Rum. I wasted no time in catching up with my best friend. We definately drank until we got our fill, and then we drank some more. I caught up with quite a few people from Maningrida and we all hung out and drank together. We caught up with people who lived in our community before me but had moved back to civilisation. Some of the most beautiful people I have ever met. I felt like I was leaving my family when we had to leave. Seeing people from our community in Jabbers is like being on school camp. It brings you oddly closer because you have a particular memory of which you all share
The morning came way too quickly, which did not help my hangover at all. We decided to head back towards Maningrida for the festival at Oenpelli. On the way we stopped at the last crossing we had crossed the night before (after I had had my first roadside spew - a little embarassing, a little mile-stone-ish.) as we strolled down the bank of the crossing we noticed hundreds of fish splashing around in the water, visible and very catchable. I then realised that there were 2 crocodiles just cruising by down the stream. The one I could see the best would have been about 2.5m long. Just chilling on the other side of the river. I was ecstatic. This was the one thing that I had desperately wanted to see while being in the Territory, and I cant believe I conquered it so soon. The day which followed was great. We explored Oenpelli - the neighbouring community, and I saw Arnhem Land. The terrain here is pretty unbelievable to me. Its like nothing I have ever seen. There are rocks that have been carved by the weather over thousands of years all throughout Arnhem Land. One in particular has the face of a local man on one side and the face of a monkey on the other. Its huge and approximately 50m tall. No one would have carved that shit. The night continued on to be interesting and epic. Alot more alcohol consumption and meeting and greeting of fellow Maningridans. Some of which I will think will turn into long lasting friends.
The whole weekend had no plan or schedule. At no stage did we know what we were going to get up to. It was amazing just being free in a place with so many people that I knew, and who of which had the same perspective as me. Everyone was there to live it up and just let free. My trip home was pretty trying. Our driver was not the best. We had to take a young local boy along with us because the road back home was closed for ceremony; which can be for many reasons, including right of passage type ceremonies, or fertility ceremonies. Males do not know what goes on at womens ceremonies and vice-versa. Because the land where the road is, is owned by the Aboriginals (who get paid thousands of dollars in royalties a year for the white man being on their land) they have the right to close the road for up to a month at any time. So anyway, on our last stretch into town our driver nearly rolled our vehicle. I think our Local passanger nearly jumped out of his skin. If the situation had further developed and the had rolled, if the boy had been injured or killed, the driver may have had to pay off the family or may have even been ran out of town.
This week I stayed with a friend which gave me opportunity for alot of new experiences. One night this week we got a hold of a few beers and got a few mates over. The evening ended up in a place called Fred's Bridge approx 20km out of town. In between town and Fred's bridge, we stopped and let off some fireworks. And then went to check some Cherapin pots (freshwater lobster). Its crazy how a slow evening out here can turn into something so exciting. I had the best time and I couldnt wipe the smile off my face. Our night ended with us sitting at this bridge drinking beers and speaking shit. I couldnt have imagined anything better.
The next night I visited a mate who had been hunting the night before. He had a buffalo head on the tray of his ute. Waiting for the skin to rot away so he could mount the scull.
The way of life here is amazing. Its simple but the range of things that you can get up to here is totally exciting. Its relaxed. I have lists of things that i want to achieve before I leave, I am beginning to worry that I wont be able to save a dime and become so enticed by this life style that I will get so wrapped up that I will never leave. But in all at this point I am very happy here. I have never felt so much like myself. And I cant believe how much I smile during the day time. I feel at peace here and I wonder if maybe this is where I am meant to be. I am beginning to become familiar with a few of the locals. I feel a sense of achievement when they remember me, or even speak to me. Even so much as getting a "how are you" is an achievement for me. For looking like such a shit place at first glance, I cannot believe how much I like it. I do accept that there will be down days though. Everyone has them. Cabin Fever does set in. But for now I am just going to enjoy where I am at. I love feeling this happy, it make me want to somehow help the people here, or try and make it better in some way. I have considered doing some volunteer work with the youth centre. But I dont want to get in too deep and ruin all my Europe plans. Either way, this is great for now.
Cheers to finding happiness!
"Happiness is fine, but its momentary...
A momentary lapse of Relality,
Relality is fine, but for the moment it can wait because I'm addicted to the chase of my Happiness"
- Illy.
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